Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Apology! Injury! Schoolery! Musicology! McCarty! Bikini! Witchery!

I'd like to start off by saying that I'm really sorry for slacking on this blog thing, especially to Ben since I think he's the only one who really reads with any sort of regularity. When thinking about what I've done since the last post I see why I haven't posted. I lead a very dull life. That's not to say that people who interact with me on a regular to semi-regular basis lead a dull life, it's just to say that they probably do or most certainly do when hanging out with me. This may sound depressing but it's really not. I think the worst thing that's happened this month is I dropped a steak knife on my toe and that didn't really even hurt, it was just kind of embarrassing. Even that had a silver lining to as I was able to use the Batman Band-Aids that were so graciously given to me. I'm fairly certain I would have bled to death without them.

In terms of school, I feel overworked and under...well paid would be cliche so I'm going to go with undermotivated. I mean, I do the work and I try...kind of, but in the end, I just don't really care. I don't see how theories about the effects of television will help me as I currently consume an hour at best a week or what the planets would look like if they were set up at a millionth scale in Washington, DC. Who paid for that anyways? Government waste! Gah! Moving along, last week I found myself saddled with three tests, a two-page story about characters from a painting (confession: I didn't look at a painting, I just made it up), and the crown jewel of a six-page essay critiquing an eight-page story. I'm sure you realize that that paper was free of any extraneous detail. Am I burnt out from such a week? Well, sadly, I haven't had time to contemplate this due to the fact that I have a ten-page story and six one-page character sketches due Wednesday for Creative Writing. There may be no rest for the weary but there's no rest for me either. But that's a enough complaining as anyone who reads this has probably heard me wailing about such matters already.

Besides, how could I really be upset with the release of a Paul McCartney album and a Blues Traveler album (not to mention a John Mayer single) on the same day. September 13 may quite possibly be the best release day I can remember in terms of strength and number of releases. And these releases were strong. As much as I liked Truth Be Told, !Bastardos! is an amazing collection of Blues Traveler songs done in a way only Blues Traveler could pull off. The new single, "Amber Awaits", is a fantastic. But don't hold your breath waiting for it to come on the radio. It sounds too much like there's real instruments on the track for it to be accessible to the thirteen-year-old crowd radio caters to. My advice is to BUY IT NOW! Paul McCartney also has an exceptional release, Chaos and Creation in the Backyard. The songs are solid and McCartney plays almost all of the instruments, which is really worth the price of admission alone. Buy it too, but I say it with less urgency since it will sell no matter what and McCartney's currently the richest musician in the world so it's not like he needs the support.

Speaking of bands that need support, I was saddened to hear to day that Phil of the beloved Chris McCarty Band recently had a collapsed lung. He's all right now, but I fear it may somehow force him to leave the band. Of course, I'm probably worrying about nothing. Speaking of the Chris McCarty Band, Ben, Chrissie, Brummitt, Mike, and I caught them at Scooterpoolza down at the Venue. It was quite a show. They did a cover of a song that I hate from a band that I hate (*Cough* Mr. Brightside *Cough* Killers *Cough*) and really made it rock which is really a testament to how awesome the band is (and how much the other band which twill not be named sucks). The event was kicked off with a Hawaiin Tropic Bikini Contest. I know that some of you may be jealous at this point, but, at the risk of sounding gay, I'm going to be honest. The contest bore me to tears. I mean, I like girls in bikinis as much as the next guy but watching a bunch of scantily clad women trying to impress a bunch of drunk while prancing around a stage while a banshee screams out unintelligible phrases which may or may not pertain to what was taking place, it just kind of wears on me. Chrissie also displayed her Nostradamus-like powers and called the winner of the competition long before it was over. She claims she just picked the one with the least amount of clothing on, but we all know it's a cover for her mystical powers. A witch I tell you! She's a good witch though so be careful with water around her as it wouldn't be the first time I've had a witch friend evaporate before my eyes, but I don't really want to talk about it.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

What Would Jason Statham Do?

Since I left you last, my time has been quite jampacked. Not only did I survive my classes (barely I tell you, barely) but I also managed to leave my apartment on a fairly regular basis and brave the cruel world that waits outside my door. By cruel world I mean occaisionally rainy and noticeably hot and muggy. Can you think of anything more evil?

Anyways...I closed off my first week of school in the best conceivable way. It's at this point you're asking, "But Jared, how'd you get tickets to the Fab Four concert?" The answer to that is, my dad, being the sly dog he is, managed to pick up five tickets which happens to be exactly the number needed for my family to go. The Fab Four were an eerily accurate tribute band, they had the motions down and the sound was really close, especially in the earlier tunes. If you squinted your eyes really hard and dampened your ears, it was, for intents and purposes, the Beatles. A good time was had by all.

Returning to school, I struggled to retain conciousness through another week of classes with a sparkling prize at the end of the tunnel, the release of the slam-bang action-thriller the Transporter 2. It order to clearly ready myself for it, I watched the original film not once but twice. It's one of those few gems that just gets better with every viewing. Properly psyched for the movie, I knew there was only one thing that could make the experience perfect, so the fellas and I took in a UF volleyball game before going. It was loads of fun as always and UF won in straight sets. Arriving back from the volleyball game, I pulled my suit from the closet, clothed myself and was ready to go.

The movie was everything I had hoped for and more with Statham turning the action and the charm up to 11. The man can act. The scene with the fire hose is worth the price of admission. Go see it now. In fact, go see both of them. They were so good they inspired Chrissie to come up with a saying, nay, a way of life drawn from them. Whenever you're in trouble, whenever you don't know what to do, just ask yourself, "What would Jason Statham do?" and all will be alright.