The Basket Story

Before telling the story of all stories, I must first delve into it's history. Our story of how the story was found begins with a young but restless Edward Kurht, genius and unparalled athlete. After many years of dominating in everything imaginable, our dear friend Edward began to question the meaning behind his life. After much searching, Edward found himself in South-Central Asia, where he heard rumors of a wise old man on top of a mountain.

Unfortunately, the half-coherent old sailor Kurht interrogated gave him innaccurate directions and our hero found himself imprisoned in the Bastille. Though it is known that no one escapes from the Bastille, Cap'n Kurht (as he has become known these days) trained with the best escape artists in the world when he was bored on a three-day weekend and quickly freed himself of his shackles and, dispatching of several snooty frenchmen and a mime, continued on his search. He once again found himself hot on the trail of the elusive man on the mountain after a tip from a sheep hearder who's flock lay in the oasis hidden in the arid hell of the Sahara led him to a one-legged, former member of the KGB who claimed to know of the location and where "the bodies were buried." Sadly, the KGB agent was struck dead by the hoof of an errant cow before he could divulge the informantion that our dear Cap'n so desperately needed. Though dead, the KGB agent still had much to tell. Kurht was a master frisker and discovered a cartograph hidden in the hollowed out stump which passed for the wretched man's leg.

Using the map, Kurht found a treasure ship hidden in a cave and was forced to eliminate a rag-tag team of children and a gang of thugs who were also vying for the treasure, as well as a hideous creature who cried, "You have killed Sloth!!!!" before breathing his last as Kurht's dagger sunk into his burly chest. After feasting upon the remains, Kurht then searched the ship, finding not only riches beyond his wildest dreams but also a manuscript describing a journey to the far ends of the earth. After pouring over the exciting tome for several hours, Kurht turned to page 376 and found what he had been looking for for what seemed to be a lifetime.

Investing his riches in the Beta video format, Kurht charted a plane to the mysterious location of the man on the mountain. Parachuting at the base, and climbing up, Kurht had to dispatch of several Yettis before reaching the hallowed temple of the man.Entering through an old moaning door, Kurht found himself in the most beautiful room he had ever seen. After several moments of taking the room in, Kurht suddenly realized a man was sitting across from him on a jewel-encrusted throne in far reaches of the vast temple. Walking to him, the man asked, "What do you want of me?"

Kurht answered, "Sir, I have traveled the world and done many great deeds in search of you and I have come hear only to ask one question: What, oh great wise one, is the meaning of life?"

The man answered, "If you can defeat me in hand to hand combat, I will tell you." With that, the man flung himself at Kurht with a flurry of kicks and jabs and the most glorious battle the world has ever seen ensued. After many days of bloody and vicious bare-knuckle brawling, Kurht finally gained the upper hand, using a technique he once learned when babysitting for the third top box-office seller in the nation. After submitting, the decrepit old man divulged his secret and Kurht left, triumphant, determined to share his new found wisdom with others.

Flashforward several years, and we find our hero has decided that becoming a teacher at the prestigious Clay High School under the command of general P-Mac was the best way to share the life- shattering utterances of the wise old man. It was there that he passed down this story to me, and now I share it with you. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

The Basket Story

So there was this lady with a basket full of money, living in Germany in between World War I and World War II. She decided to purchase a loaf of bread and so she entered the bakery and, taking an armload of money, left the basket on the stoop. When she returned, she discovered that someone had dumped out the money and taken the basket because the basket was worth more than the money. You see, at that time in Germany, the exchange rate was 4.1 billion marks to the dollar. Now that's a bad economy.

.

.

You can obviously see the great importance of this story. I implore you to share it with everyone you know. Enrich their lives with this story as I have enriched yours and how our hero, Mr. Kurht, has enriched mine. Go now! Spread the word!